Why Online Multiplayer Sucks

Ξ August 14th, 2006 | → 0 Comments | ∇ |

Playing against other humans is always going to offer a more real experience, but with every good side there’s a pile of crap waiting to be trodden in. After reading about the new Train map for CS (I haven’t played since 1.1. Popularity/Retail killed it. Beta 6-7 was the best time to be a part of CS) featuring HDR it reminded me that online gaming isn’t such a fantastic idea as everyone claims it to be:

1) People are idiots. That should be enough said, but I’ll explain anyway. Generally if you don’t know who you’re playing with you’ll always get some idiot spamming crap or talking “leet speak”. God forbid there’s audio enabled and some snotty teenager is having a bad (every) day.

2) If you don’t play from the get-go then you’re fucked. Some people will play day in day out from the minute the preload on steam unlocks or the DVD falls on their mat. They know every-single-map inside out. They are naturally fantastic at gaming and are loaded up to the eye-balls on caffeine. You turn up 3 months later for a quick blast and you last 3 seconds before being walked over and shat on. Wohey, what an incredibly fun experience. Which leads me on to…

3) You need to invest inhumane amounts of time into it in order to get anywhere. Take ANY MMO for prime example. For god sake people, read a book. Go o-u-t-s-i-d-e?! Get off your fat ass and stop spending 50% of your day in front of your PC mining gold or playing dust again and again and again…

4) People cheat. They do in every-single-game, and it sucks ass. Even if it’s not cheating, bending the game rules is just as bad. If you can do it, that’s great but its crap for everyone else, especially if it affects their gaming experience.

5) Why would you turn something fps killing on, like HDR, to hinder your potential against your human foe? The thing to do is turn it down to 640×480 which makes all the little men MASSIVE, turn off all AA cause you want to get the exact edges of hit boxes and turn off all funky lighting or particles and anything else which makes the game look real and has further evolved than something from the SNES. Why would you turn on stuff which blinds you? makes it foggy? hinders what you can see?? Makes it look half decent?? No. Winning > all.

So, there you are. The top 5 reasons why online gaming sucks.